home?

So its labor day weekend. And instead of going to FL like planned, I'm going home. Damn gas prices.
but yea. spent the night at J's last night. Stayed up til about 3. I get more drunk off of him than any alcohol can ever do. He utterly intoxicating and I love it.
I had a wave of emotion the other night though. I got so scared of losing him. Like I almost had tears rolling down my face becuase I was thinking of it. and I know I shouldnt worry about things like that. And theres always a chance something like that might happen in any relationship. Its a part of it. You give your heart without regret and hope it doesnt get broken. But if it does....at least you experienced love. You had true happiness for a short amount of time. To me....its worth it.
We've been together now for about 7 months. Thats long for me. lol...I'm such a random person that being consistant with anything is awesome. I'm nowhere near some of my friends who have been in 2 to 3 year relationships...but I think mine has so much substance and truth to it. That it doesn't matter how long we've been together ya know?
I honestly can say I'm in love. Not like the 8th grader who is infatuated with a pretty boy. The love that...when I wake up in the morning, roll over and see his face...its the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. and I just want to cry because hes the first person I see...and I'm the first he sees. and thats all we ever want. no matter how our physical appearances are...from just waking up after a night of partying or whatev, to just getting outta the lake or being dressed up...hes still gorgeous in my mind...and I am in his. And hes so beautiful on the inside. One of the most amazing human beings.
This weekend we'll be apart. But thats ok. I'll have time to study for classes and do laundry and sleep. The usual college kid weekend.
I thank God every day that He brought you into my life. I'd be lost without you. You give me what I could never obtain on my own. I hate how words never seem enough....but I love you. and I mean it.